Script advice...

[tenaciousd44]

I am writing a script with a pulp fictiony-style and I was wondering what people think of this storyline-
A hitman is hired to do grotesque jobs of torturing a targets family and friends with macabr weapons. He is reluctant from the start. His best friend is murdered by one of the people involved in the gang stuff, and so he quits. He tries to leave to get out of trouble, and the boss gave him half/hour to do so. he stumbles across a young lady when his car breaks down. He tries to enlist her help but she refuses. He then draws his gun, and makes her take him to the next town. When he gets thre, a group of mobsters are already waiting for him, and so he tries to get away. The woman is shot and killed, the hitman makes it away.
He continues on, only to be confronted by the original target. He tries to warn Him of what's goig to happen, but the target get's shot by a sniper. The hitman is the next target, but is only hit in the leg. He makes it away. While the gang searches the town, he hides in a small compartment in the back of a car. This turns out to be a gansters car, so he rides it out of town, then rolls out unnoticed. This may or may not be the final scene in the movie. I'm still working on it.
I expext it to be about 1 hr. 45 min. Drama
I am trying t o make a well written script with little violence. The special effects will be minimal, and much of the violence is off screen to save bullet hit effects. Any input would be great. Thanks.

[Micaso]

By the sounds of it, I think it would make a better short, 20-40 minutes, unless you write really killer dialogue. That's just my opinion though, follow your gut. Have fun and good luck.

[tenaciousd44]

thank for the input. I'm kind of thinking it will be a short. I'm just going to write it and see how it turns out.